growing up

something i haven't come to terms with yet is just how fast my life is going right now and just that i'm growing up. it's weird knowing that in a year and half i'll be in a new environment out of the bubble i've yet to leave for the majority of my life. it's an exciting thought, knowing that i'll be somewhere new, but it's scary. no matter my thoughts about my situation right now, it's all i've ever been familiar with and it's scary knowing i'll leave it soon

and then just knowing that i just turned 17, i'll never be 16 again, i can't fight against my growth and i have to embrace it, is a weird feeling. im not sure how much of an anecdote this is but i've also thought a lot about what younger me would think of me today, its weird, would i look up to myself?

but, i also dont know what the point of writing this is, its scary getting old, like im not old at all but i also feel so old even though im so young? ah its too much to think about maybe i'll unpack it in a future post